Whitebird

Steve killed Whitebird today. He was one of the first three chicks that hatched under our guardianship after we came here. We were so excited to see the little things come out of their eggs. I went crazy over the cute little heads and eyes peeping out at us from under their mother's feathers. I've read even seasoned chicken breeders say that it's a sight you never get sick of.

The three chicks hatched on the Birthday of the Bab - 20 October last year. They had an eventful time of it. Whitebird had splay legs. He couldn't walk because his legs would go out horizontally from him and he'd fall down in the middle. We tied his legs together using wool, about 2 cm apart. This allowed him to stand and take steps. He came right after about a week. Blackbird, Whitebird's sister, had a recurring limp, and at one point seemed to nearly die. I think we let the family free-range in the cold when we shouldn't have. Anyway, things came right and Blackbird's limp went away as she got older. The other sister of the three was killed by the cat. That was the last time the cat attacked the chickens. I made sure the cat would never forget the consequences of such an action.

It took me six months to come to terms with the idea of us killing our roosters. Like most people, I had bought meat from the supermarket and not thought much about it. I couldn't get my mind around a chicken being deliberately killed here, on my patch, on my watch. But gradually, I worked it through. Abdu'l-Baha helped enormously by explaining the reality behind it.

Animals have an animal spirit, which is extinguished when the body's elements dissipate. Animals do not comprehend intellectual realities, so do not have a sense of their imminent death. Whitebird lived 15 weeks and, in that time, had a very happy life. His death was quick and humane and, after that, he knew nothing more. Abdu'l-Baha says it is the highest honour for the animal to be used as food for humans. This made me see that it was important that we eat Whitebird. In this way, we honour his life and what he has given us.

On a practical level, though, Whitebird was starting to awaken sexually and we needed to act for the sake of flock maintenance. It would have resulted in war between roosters otherwise. Once I saw this, I understood how important it is to manage flocks properly in order to keep the peace. We have other roosters that are getting older and will cause problems too, if not dealt to. Seeing this was the final piece of the puzzle for me and I hardened up emotionally about the idea of Whitebird dying.

Steve and I want to produce our own food as much as possible. Killing our own chickens was always going to be an important part of that process. I needed to reconcile myself to it. It's a relief to have done this. Steve says the process went well for him and that from now on it'll be easier.